Witnessing the Rapid Change of a Species

Recently, while waiting on an airport lounge for my very delayed flight, I read on a psychology/fashion/beauty magazine an article about the way that men think. The article revealed the conclusions of a study conducted in the Netherlands about the effect that women have on the ability of men to think properly. The conclusions of the study were that in the presence of a female, a man will lose a significant part of his ability to reason adequately, even reaching the point of memory loss. The more physically attractive the woman is, the more the man’s brain will struggle to perform effectively.

In business, this means that if a man is having a business discussion with another man his brain will be properly engaged. If the same discussion, however, were to take place with a woman, the ability of the man to carry on with the same discussion will be seriously challenged. The study reveals that the reason for this behavior has to do with the unconscious and primitive constant search by men of mating opportunities. The female presence excites this instinctive behavior on the man.
For us women, things are differently. Only a moment earlier glancing through some other magazines, I came across the double page picture of Tom Ford advertising his latest fragrance. I know without a doubt that if Tom Ford were to be sitting before me, I surely would not be distracted by his incredible beauty, and I surely would be able to completely engage in a discussion with a beautiful and iconic man. In other words, the beauty of a man would not affect my ability to interact with him and certainly would never prevent me from conducting business with him.

So, is a male primitive instinct responsible for the huge imbalance that women are subjected to in the workplace?

Coincidentally enough, the study was carried out in the Netherlands, a Country where I worked and lived and where I recall the majority of the men asking me the eternal question of “why is an attractive woman like you, with such a dark and long hair, working in our office?” It seems to me that the question was not only sexist and completely inadequate but also reflected their total incapacity to converse intelligently with a woman. It explained also why many women in the workplace abandoned their natural womanliness choosing to look and behave like a man in order to be listened and taken into account.

What is the solution to this terrible dilemma?

It occurs to me that there are “evolved” men out there with new developed instincts, capable to recognize that the survival of the species has to do more with collaboration with the female species rather than the consumption of the female species. It also occurs to me that nature is rapidly creating a selection of “female hunters” responsible for empowering the female species, so we emancipate ourselves from the concept that we are the prey. Releasing our mind from this idea will help us understand that men have used their “male mating instinct” excuse in order to ignore our abilities and intelligence. By choosing not to be the prey, we are also able to once and for all shatter a terrible idea that has limited us from the days we lived trapped and isolated in dark caves.

We are witnessing the rapid change o a species. Women gatherers becoming women hunters; women who are reclaiming the power that men claimed entirely too much for themselves. It’s all about balance and equilibrium of the species. If we don’t let it happen, we may disappear all together trying to figure out how the instincts that we thought helped us evolve, led us to our ultimate destruction.

Oh, and about the long and dark hair issue. Perhaps most of those men fear in their nightmares the “hair monster” because I still cannot figure out what does long and dark hair has to do with it. My advice to women would be: instead of cutting your hair let him get therapy and figure out his nightmares.

How High are the Stakes?

If you are a fan of Madonna, you may agree with me that her album “Confessions on a Dance Floor” contains some of the most metaphysical messages that you can find in music. If you are not very familiar with her music on this album, I can advise you to listen to her songs because they are truly motivational. I want to devote this article to one song in particular: How High.
“How high are the stakes?
How much fortune can you make?
Does this get any better?
Should I carry on?
Will it matter when I'm gone?
Will any of this matter?”
1. How high are the stakes in your life?
It is Sunday night. You have a 9 to 5 job in the office that you know is really a 7 to 7. Tomorrow is Monday and you are preparing yourself for a 60 hour job, not counting the commuting time if you live in a big city like London or NYC. You may love your job, or you may not. If the later is true for you, I know that the perspective of Monday approaching is cramping your guts. You wish you’d win the lotto so tomorrow you don’t have to put yourself through that feeling again. Something within you tells you that this job, this part of your life, is making you miserable. You dream of that house with a pool and a huge yard, and you stick to the job because common sense tells you that if you work hard, you will be able to afford it one day. But you know, you really know, that the 7 to 7 job is not going to cut it. The hero in you takes over and asks you point blank: How high are the stakes?
2. How much fortune can you make?
So now the hero in you has taken over. The next question is how much fortune can you make? Fortune can mean whatever is important to you: happiness, cash, time, power, influence… it is your personal meaning of fortune. You have spent many years blaming your job for your lack of fortune. You work so hard that you come home really tired only to turn on your computer to keep up with your unanswered emails, you are not happy. You earn so little money for all the effort that you put into your job that you don’t have enough cash to do all the things that you want to do. You are so busy with your 60 hour job that extends into weekends and holidays that time for you is more valuable than any platinum and diamonds. You have a horrible boss that apparently thinks you are invisible because you really, your power of decision and your real influence in the outcome is very limited. The creative side of your brain is starting to take over, and you start asking yourself: if only I was brave enough to listen to the hero within, how much fortune can I make if I were to choose something better for myself.
3. Does this get any better?
Of course you have a right side of the brain, so it does not matter what the hero within tells you or the left side of the brain advises you, you start thinking if it is really worth it. Will it get any better? Perhaps you leave your job, by choice, only to find yourself without your safety cushion. The salary is gone, the pension money is not growing any longer plus you know that the investment ahead is so big, that it will take time to break even if you manage to break even. It is really scary. You know if you make it, it will be a lot better. You will start living life under your own terms, pretty much your way. You start relating to Sinatra’s song “My Way”. You play it for inspiration. You know, you really know it is going to get better. Fear, however, will tell you only that the odds are against you. Fear will show you only the obstacles, not the possibilities. You look for a simple answer to your question: does this get any better?
4. Should I carry on?
As you debate with yourself about the possibilities, you think about that special person in your life that makes it all worth it; a child, a spouse, a sibling, a parent, a friend. You start asking yourself whether carrying on with this heroic plan is going to be the path to your fortune. You ask yourself whether you should carry on or stay where you are. You have a moment of honesty when your guts are suddenly not cramped any longer. You think about the available time that you will now be able to spend with your child, you think about your spouse who puts up with you every day of your life when you come home grumpy after work, you think about those friends that you haven’t hanged out with for a while, you think about who you care for the most, and as you start considering the possibility of carrying on, your guts are not cramped any longer. You feel good, you are relaxed, you have now felt in your body what it is boiling in your imagination. You like the feeling but it seems you are still scared.
5. Will it matter when I’m gone?
We all die. I believe our soul doesn’t die, but I believe that I don’t want to die without leaving a legacy. You go through the entire process once again, and you wonder if the 7 to 7 job is leaving a legacy. If you love your job, surely something that you do is fulfilling your life’s purpose, and, even if you don’t know it, you are leaving something greater than you for humanity. If you hate it, however, chances are you are not where you are meant to be. You were born with something unique to give, and you don’t want to be gone without having used your special gift. Will it matter when I’m gone?, perhaps it is time to give it a try.
6. Will any of this matter?
It is not even Monday yet, and you are ready to give it a try. The stakes are high, there is a huge fortune to make, it will get much better and because of that you are ready to carry on. You know that when you are gone, what you did will still matter because you will make a difference. So yes, all of this matters. You have nothing to lose and everything to win.
It is Monday morning, you are happy and relaxed. It may be or not a busy week ahead. You, however, feel that this is the life you crafted for yourself. You are adding the colours and the textures that you want for your life. No one else is painting on the canvas of your existence. You are the master and you are the painting. Yes, the stakes were high.